


revealings and revelations

by gabriel42069



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Pesterlog Format, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), bandaid metaphors, lesbians., the importance of words!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 14:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13413201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriel42069/pseuds/gabriel42069
Summary: TT: I have something to tell you.





	revealings and revelations

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]  
TT: I have something to tell you.  
TT: Confess might be a better word, but it has associations with sin, which I don’t want to give this. Besides, I'm not about to make you into a priest.   
TT: Those may or may not actually be the ones who take confessions. I'm a Jew; my knowledge of Catholicism doesn't extend beyond the rudimentary. I heard somewhere that there's a difference between a priest and a pastor but fuck if I know what it is.  
TT: That's not particularly relevant, though, and I'm doing my best to stave off my predisposition to going on tangents. If I get caught up in a particularly meaty one, I won't get out what I want to say to you. And I do want to say it to you. Badly.  
GA: Would You Rather Do This In Person  
GA: You Seem Uncomfortable  
TT: God, no. Thanks, but I don't think I could. Call me a coward, but I think if I tried this face to face I wouldn't be able to get the words out.  
TT: I've never quite managed to say them out loud. At least not yet. I'm working towards it, but just… not yet.  
GA: Understandable  
GA: Im Here Whenever Youre Ready To Say Them  
GA: I Mean  
GA: Both Right Now In Terms Of The Text Version As Well As Sometime In The Future In Terms Of Actually Saying Them With Your Mouth  
GA: I Hope That Makes Sense  
TT: Eloquently put, Kanaya.  
TT: Well. Hm. Alright.  
TT: Do you have bandaids on Alternia?  
GA: If Thats An Earth Human Word For Bandages Then Yes We Have Those  
GA: Also You Seem To Be Avoiding The Topic  
GA: Which Is Fine I Just Want To Get It Out There That I See Right Through You  
TT: Do you think it's better to rip a bandaid off slowly in an attempt to minimize the pain or to rip it off quickly to get it over with in one short, painful moment?  
GA: Well  
GA: That Depends  
GA: On A Number Of Things Really But I Dont Think Youre Looking For A Complex Analysis Of The Variables  
GA: As A Blanket Statement Ill Say Its Probably Better To Get It Over With As Quickly As Possible  
GA: The Sooner The Better As They Say  
GA: Taking Your Time Can Be Important Too And You Should Make Sure That You Dont Rip It Off Prematurely And Make The Scab Start Bleeding  
GA: But If You Know Youre Ready Prolonging It Unnecessarily Is Only Going To Cause You More Pain  
TT: Right.  
TT: Sound advice.  
TT: For bandaid ripping.  
TT: Because that's what I was talking about, of course. Bandages.  
GA: Right Yes Of Course  
GA: Ill Pretend Not To Have Grasped The Underlying Meaning To Your Bandage Metaphor  
GA: Oh Look At Me Reading Your Text On Only The Most Strictly Literal Level And Never Prying Deeper Into The Figurative Meanings  
TT: I can't imagine what kind of figurative meaning you would find, since there wasn't any. I was simply asking how you deal with bandaid removal.  
TT: If you must know, I scratched my arm yesterday.  
GA: While I Dont Doubt That There Are A Number Of Literal Bandaids Dotting Your Personage At This Moment I Will Gently Urge You To Get This One Over And Done With  
GA: They Can Be Breeding Grounds For Infection If Left On Too Long  
TT: Is that true?  
GA: I Have No Idea Rose Why Would I Know That  
GA: Geez Some People  
TT: Okay, okay, point taken!  
TT: The thing which I wanted to tell you was this: I'm a lesbian. I like women, and only women. I don't like men.  
TT: In a romantic sense, I mean, but it applies in general as well.  
TT: I've known it for a decent length of time but I've never really been able to acknowledge it with any degree of sincerity until… recently.  
TT: I know in troll society it's generally assumed that people experience attraction without regards to gender, but it isn't that way for humans. People carry a shit ton of prejudice about other people's romantic inclinations and it's essentially a whole awful ball of human baggage yarn. Especially for women. There tends to be an assumption that every woman will center her life around men, and people hate having that line of thinking challenged.  
TT: But Earth is gone, so I've been trying to convince myself to act like it, and not let other people's hatred of who I am define how I feel about myself.  
TT: So. There you have it. I'm a lesbian, and I'd very much like you to give some sort of reply soon.  
GA: I Didnt Realize There Was A Word For That  
GA: Im Really Glad You Told Me  
GA: It Must Have Been Hard And Youre Strong For Doing It  
GA: Im A Bit Floored At The Moment That Theres A Word For That  
GA: It Just Wasnt Something That Was Ever Discussed On Alternia Much Less In Defined Terms Like That  
GA: I Guess There Must Have Been Lesbians There Too But No One Ever Used That Word To Describe Them  
GA: Liking Women Was The Norm But The Thought Of Not Liking Men Is  
GA: Well  
GA: I Didnt Really Realize That That Was An Option  
TT: Well, it is. Having a word for it is good. Being able to call it what it is, rather than feeling in the dark and confused and weird all of your life… it's important.  
TT: It also offers a sense of community and history, which is a strange thing to think about since our history is gone now, but…  
TT: It still matters to me, in a weird way.  
TT: Even if there's no one else to make that community with, it still feels less isolating to know that that community exists.  
GA: I Dont Think Its Weird  
GA: Its Normal To Feel Those Connections Even To Something Thats Gone  
GA: Its Like  
GA: The Word Rainbow Drinker For Me I Think  
GA: Even If Im The Only Rainbow Drinker Left In Existence It Makes Me Feel Better To Know That There Were Thousands Of Us Before Me And Im Not Alone For The Way That I Am  
TT: I like that.  
TT: On Earth, rainbows were a symbol for lesbians, actually. They were kind of meant to represent that same feeling of uniqueness and unity at the same time.  
TT: We're even not alone in not being alone.  
GA: Its Weird I Guess Because Id Never Even Considered The Possibility That Someone Could Have Preferences Like That  
GA: I Mean I Knew I Didnt Want To Be In Any Quadrants With Any Of The Boys I Knew But I Figured That That Was More Down To Most Of Them Being Less Than Exemplary As People  
GA: Part Of Me Always Thought Of Myself As Incapable Of Those Feelings To Some Extent  
GA: But Both Of Those Points Are Disproven By The Fact That I Was Red For Vriska For A Good Half A Sweep  
GA: Im Not Sure What Im Saying Here But  
GA: Looking Back At My History And Inwards At My Feelings  
GA: I Think The Liking Women And Only Women Thing Might Be Applicable To Me As Well  
GA: Which Is To Say  
GA: Fuck  
GA: Im A Lesbian  
TT: Oh!  
TT: That's amazing, Kanaya.  
TT: I'm really happy for you.  
GA: Thank You  
GA: Im Sorry For Hijacking Your Moment  
TT: Don't be ridiculous. I'm rolling my eyes at you, Maryam. I hope you can hear. It isn't hijacking my moment to come to your own realization. I'm proud as fuck of you for doing so.  
GA: Colon End Parenthesis  
TT: Right back at you.  
GA: Thank You For Helping Me  
GA: Uh  
GA: Understand That About Myself  
GA: Or More Precisely To Acknowledge What I Always Knew And To Put A Word To It  
TT: I'm glad I could.  
TT: Alright, well, this went better than I practiced for in the shower, so that's excellent. I have to go do… things now, though.  
GA: Do Those Things Include Writing In Your Diary And Or Secretly Grinning Into Your Pillow  
TT: I can neither confirm nor deny that.  
GA: Have Fun With That Rose  
TT: Thanks, Kanaya.  



End file.
